I was challenged to write about love and more specifically about the know how of love. 
I like the term “know how” very much and I was very happy when yesterday my friend connected it to love.
I even think now if I invent the know how of love I may become a millionaire.
Hahahaha …. Just joking … a little bit.
OK, OK, no more playing with words.
Before I get to the point of know how, let me share some thoughts about love.
People often call love the feelings that appear between a man and a woman, when there is an attraction and certain chemistry between them. Yes, it is may be a sort of love, but this love disappears. Is it possible love to disappear? I don’t think so.
First of all love is something that lives inside us, inside all of us I hope. Love only chooses different objects to which it could be applied to, but it’s not the objects that create the love, it’s the love that …. creates the object. hahah…
I was mistaking the first type of love for love and it took me a long time to realize that love is in me, not in the object of my feelings, or between us.
The major conclusion following the above fact is that we always have love even if there are no objects. It is very unlikely not to have any objects, of course. At least you have a family and some friends.
When I realized that I had a period in my life I was laying in bed feeling full of love and loved … by …. by the Universe, by God or by whatever you want to call it.
Now things are changed a little bit, but I can go back to this state in some time I am sure.
So, what about the know how of love.
Yes, I was always interested in the way people show their love. Some people are absolutely incapable of showing love and this is one of the biggest problems we have. I my say for example that my dad was not able to show love when he was young and I was not aware he loves me. This has caused one of my biggest problems later in life I guess.
I guess I was not feeling loved and I started looking for love in the people around me.
The other extreme is when someone is obsessed by his love to his child and grow it mollycoddled.
OK, the extremes are clear, what is the golden mean?
As it is difficult for me to theorize I will give another example:
How I grow my child, who is the person I love the most.
I leave her doing whatever she wants, unless it is bad for her health or disturbing people around.
I don’t tell her what to do, I only suggest if she wants to draw a picture or try writing letters. And she does it if she wants to do it.
But doing what she wants to do, she is close to me and she knows I love her. I tell her that I love her a dozen times a day. Every day I hug her several times and I tell her she is the person I love the most in this world. Of course, I just talk to her sometimes and answer all her questions.
So I believe it should be with my partner. I would leave him doing whatever he wants, but I will tell him every day I love him and I hope there will be a current between us, an interaction between the female and male parts of our personalities/our souls. Like my friend says.
As for you, my friend, I am not able to express the interaction between us better than you. You already did that and I agree, I still have no words, because I have not enough experience to describe the lovely butterfly dance that happens when we play with words and express our love.
My words are too practical; too engineering I would say (professional deformation). I can be sort of poetic only if I don’t think and some words appear into my mind from nowhere or as a momentary reaction of something - if I am writing in brain mode like now I am too practical I am afraid and it’s difficult for me to speak about love actually.
But still – love is not emotions, not the feelings between two people, love is the very essence of life I truly believe that and I believe that nothing can grow in this world if there is no love put into it. The loveless creations die.
Love accepts, forgives, have compassion, understands.
Once I read that the only way to know, to understand somebody it to love him. Only when you love you start living your beloved life and see how it is like - you walk in his shoes. You wouldn’t understand somebody you don’t love.
Oh, God. Did I say something about how to love?
I don’t know. May be I should try again. These were only my chaotic thoughts this morning.
