The journey to myself. That’s the journey. There is no other journey. All around me are only signs, stones or rocks that serve only to orientate me.
Even if I go to the end of the world, what’s the difference it will make if the flora and fauna are different – the interpreter will be one and the same, me, isn’t it? I will go, see, win and … so what?
If I have problems with me I will take them with me even if I am in Space.
New landscapes and unstudied paths are not tempting. The digging into my soul is tempting.
Besides there are not many surprises outside. I can envisage the words and even their order. If they cannot surprise me why not to try to surprise myself?
They are blessed. I believe in that and I envy them a bit. It is so good when you are clear with your life. Even if something happens, they say “Well”, “Fate” or something and they go on not thinking.
Before I wanted to dig in their souls. I dig. I gave up.
Not that my soul is the most interesting. I get bored with myself. I know many things about me now. Rarely someone provokes reactions I don’t expect.
I want to find something new. How long this could take?
What is so interesting about me, actually?
May be I should put myself in nonstandard situations. Where? When? Who with?
Is there any sense?
Do I change?
Sometimes I think, yes.
Or it is not a change, but only awareness.
How long I should aware myself?
Shall I give up?
As if I can.
As I friend of mine says – there is no hope for me. /in sense I can’t ever go back to the blessed happy unconscious people/.
What about love? Where is its place?
It provokes the biggest cataclysms. It moves layers, volcano erupt and the lava covers old ideas and conceptions about life.
Sometimes it lulls our attention and stops our journey to ourselves as we start living for another person …
What if this is the salvation? A life for someone else in order to get rid of ourselves?
Can I do that? Until when?
Isn’t it always lonely the warrior’s path? What if it is? Why not a path of two lonely warriors?
At the end of the day if the path has no heart there is no sense. But the heart looks for another heart ….
And why Einstein says something like:”Man starts to live when he becomes able to live out of himself.”?
