A flute of reed

I said I love you.

It’s not enough.

You said you love me.

It’s not enough.

Am I excused about greed

If it concerns love?

What about time?

They say time cures everything.

Does it cure love?

Or love is not a disease,

only the infatuation is?

What if love

Indeed

Is the only

True

Reality

On Earth?

Wandering

Between the exact hour of waking,

Exact hour of finishing

The working day

And the repeating actions

In the evening ….

A robot.

Nothing more than

life reproducing machine.

Did somebody ask me?

And what is unique about me?

Even if I am a particle of God –

So what?

Is there any sense

Or it is only a game?

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Here is the description of the Hanged Man. Fortunately it fully matches what I think and what I intend to do (or better to say not to do) in near future. This is telling me may be I am on the right way … by doing nothing and waiting.

The Hanged Man is one of the most mysterious cards in the tarot deck. It is simple, but complex. It attracts, but also disturbs. It contradicts itself in countless ways. The Hanged Man is unsettling because it symbolizes the action of paradox in our lives. A paradox is something that appears contradictory, and yet is true. The Hanged Man presents to us certain truths, but they are hidden in their opposites.
The main lesson of the Hanged Man is that we "control" by letting go - we "win" by surrendering. The figure on Card 12 has made the ultimate surrender - to die on the cross of his own travails - yet he shines with the glory of divine understanding. He has sacrificed himself, but he emerges the victor. The Hanged Man also tells us that we can "move forward" by standing still. By suspending time, we can have all the time in the world.
In readings, the Hanged Man reminds us that the best approach to a problem is not always the most obvious. When we most want to force our will on someone, that is when we should release. When we most want to have our own way, that is when we should sacrifice. When we most want to act, that is when we should wait. The irony is that by making these contradictory moves, we find what we are looking for.

Taken from: http://www.learntarot.com/maj12.htm

For some period of time I am stuck in a position that is described well as the Tarot cards arcane “The Hanged Man”.
I had this image in my mind almost half a year ago and the thing is that almost nothing changed by now.
The small change I notice is that now I don’t feel the tension inside about this situation. I ‘m not sure if I have accepted it fully, but definitely and am not angry about it any more.
In one sentence I am in position where I feel I can’t continue the old way, but I am still not sure exactly what should be the new way like. The new way is still not clear in my mind.
This could be very frustrating for someone wanting to know what the future will bring him, but I don’t mind at the moment.
I don’t fear the unpredictable.
I only want to know what is the best for me to do ….. but I can wait until I am sure.

I was ill for several days. I am still ill and I hate that.
The thing that I hate more is that I took antibiotics two times in five months after I have not been taking in ages.
This is terribly wrong.
I think because I feel down, I am more vulnerable psychically and physically.
I felt really, really sad and the beginning of the week and that’s why I got that flu.
Sometimes I think sadness is a sin … speaking figuratively.
Unfortunately sometimes I don’t want to be bothered to be happy with what I am.
Sometimes I can’t lie myself I am not in love with him and don’t miss him terribly.

Yesterday I watched "Waking life".
Incredible movie!
I watched "Before sunrise" long ago on TV and I remember I was very impressed. The other day I decided to find and watch it again and that's how I found that there is a second movie "Before sunset" and some other interesting movies of Richard Linklater /http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000500/ . The "Waking life" is the best on my opinion, but the others also worth watching.

"Dreams. What are they? An escape from reality or reality itself? Waking Life follows the dream(s) of one man and his attempt to find and discern the absolute difference between waking life and the dreamworld. While trying to figure out a way to wake up, he runs into many people on his way; some of which offer one sentence asides on life, others delving deeply into existential questions and life's mysteries. We become the main character. It becomes our dream and our questions being asked and answered. Can we control our dreams? What are they telling us about life? About death? About ourselves and where we come from and where we are going? The film does not answer all these for us. Instead, it inspires us to ask the questions and find the answers ourselves. Written by Jeff Mellinger {jmell@uclink4.berkeley.edu} "

In imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243017/
In Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waking_Life

I don’t want to be a cynic.

I want to tell you

Fairy-tales

As to a child.

The reality reminds of itself

On its own,

Why should I describe

What is in my eyes?

I want to formulate my soul

And materialize it

Into my life.

I want to break up the old,

Commonly accepted rules.

A revolution is in my mind.

I want to blow the Universe up

And re-create it

From scrap.

Look at me!
One of the crowd.
Worn jeans,
Tied hair,
Full-toned voice
And a smile of 24 carat.
Nothing special –
Almost … gray.
And now,
Look inside!
Do you see the storms?
Does the wind carry sands?
Does the water fly up?
Does the sun go down?
Yes?
That’s me.

I tried to fight love.

Am I not stupid?

I lost, of course.

How can one fight love?

You can only experience love and live with it or leave it ... I mean leave the person ... love always stays with us .... but it calls for somebody to ... be focused on.
Love can't keep anything for itself, love needs to give, love needs to create.

Love is so powerful ....

And we are only instruments in its hands ... in His hands ...

Purple,
pink,
blue,
green,
red,
yellow,
orange -
God gave us the main colors
we can draw the picture
of our souls with ...
...
Ops, I forgot the black one.
But it it a color
or it is lack of color?

Because there is no way someone to get somebody else to understand him completely we have art.

Art speaks language far better than the normal words.

Art gives knowledge that is untouchable and inexpressible.

A piece of art can touch many people’s souls in many different ways and still there must be something in common.

How this happens?

Last year I learned
how to believe the unbelievable
how to bear the unbearable
how to accept the unacceptable.
Last year I loved the ways I never loved before
and I had relations I never had before.
Last year I got awareness I never had before.
Last year I had the highest and the lowest ups and downs I had in all my life.

Actually nothing major happened in Real Life last year, but in my heart ....

I start this year with a firm resolution not to change anything in Real Life for the next months and a suspicion that I won’t change anything in Real Life for the next years if depends only on me.
I am going to trust God as for what must happen and I won’t do much on my own.
I am going to leave my life in His hands and keep trying to be more aware of my true self.

Let the goal for this year be – to know my true self better!

Happy New Year to everybody!